The following is an account of Joel's moving adventure written by Joel himself. I hope that you can find the humor in it as I did. Of course, it is better in person; but, I hope you get a chuckle out of it. While you are reading, I ask that you please take the time, read slowly, and actually picture this event in your mind...
“Yeah, this’ll hold up.” I said, shaking the blue tubes.
Attached to the bottom end of the tubes were what seemed to be some sturdy looking, made in Japan, wheels, which altogether made a somewhat reliable device for moving my things from my current apartment to my new apartment; the very same cart which I developed a friendship with, will now be known as “bluey”.
“Yeah, you think we can get the couch on it?” Justin asked.
“I don’t know…” I honestly replied.
“Yeah, we’ll just get it outside and set the couch on it face down,” he said.
“Alright, well I’m gonna take it upstairs and use it tomorrow for all my crap,” I stated, thinking that this was the golden ticket to my new residency…
It was about 4:45pm. I had just finished signing my life away for the new apartment. It was a nice apartment in Shin Osaka. The flooring and kitchen seem to have been recently renovated, and the bathroom and shower as well. I was ready to run back home and throw all my stuff on “bluey” and headed for freedom. But I couldn’t escape the deathly grip that my Real Estate agent had on the conversation. Toshiko is her name. She’s an older lady, who’d rather be retired but has to work until she dies. She can’t rely on her children to support her, or at least this is what was conveyed to me in broken English. I sipped my hot lemon tea as she continued on. She would like to dye her hair purple but because she’s a Real Estate agent she has some reservations about such a bold fashion statement; luckily, Toshiko had another appointment at 5pm just down the road. I reminded her of this as I inched upward out of my seat, wiping my mouth with a warm napkin. Happily surprised that I reminder her, she thanked me and we were both off and away, finally.
I rushed upstairs and looked around my room. The boxes were sitting there as I left them, ready to be moved. I figured I could get 4 boxes, 2 bags, and some bedding material onto my newest friend “bluey”. My relationship with old “bluey” got off to a rough start; I couldn’t even get out of the door. I had packed a nice cart, but was just centimeters shy of making it out my own door. So I unloaded everything, took the cart, 4 boxes, some bags, and some bedding outside and repacked “bluey,” again. Not a great start, but from here it should be a cake walk.
I began to wheel “bluey” down toward the elevator. As I approached what would be the first of many known obstacles I swiftly lifted my end of “bluey” over the step to the elevator. I then proceeded to press my foot onto the bottom bar, lifting the other end over the step. I made it onto the elevator platform without a problem. A few more steps at the entrance to the apartment would also prove to be easy. With a few slow and steady moves I was on the street. I took a moment to stand back and prepare myself for what would be a standard cart move operation. A quick glance at the sky revealed I should move quickly, as it could rain soon.
I grabbed “bluey” by the bars and pressed forward. 1 foot, 2 feet, I was off! But suddenly the front wheel hit a bump in the sidewalk, “bluey” began to move drastically to the left. He was already out of control! As “bluey” rolled forward I peaked around the edge of the cart just in time to see the corner bump into a line of bikes parked outside Sukiya (the McDonalds of Japan). Luckily, the second bike didn’t budge and I was able to get away without being noticed. I quickly moved to the intersection. I had the green walk signal, so I headed across the road. It was smooth, much smoother than the cobblestone sidewalks that cover Japan. I wasn’t quite half way across the road before the green walking light suddenly switched to the much hated red STOP hand. So I picked it up to a light sprint hoping to avoid being struck by a vehicle. My light sprint came to an abrupt stop as the front of “bluey” ran into the bump that leads back onto the sidewalks. The bag I had resting on the top flew several feet in front of the cart and I was still sticking out into the street. As horns honked I maneuvered “bluey” onto the sidewalk and grabbed my bag, throwing it on top, again. This might be a little harder than I first expected…
Aside from the starring and strange looks from pedestrians passing by the next few blocks weren’t too bad. There were a few snags with the sidewalk, but nothing “bluey” couldn’t handle. However, right as I began to feel comfortable with the situation again, something happened. I couldn’t really figure it out but “bluey” was gradually getting harder and harder to push. As I continued, I kept my eye out for a dark side street or alley to duck into, as to avoid looking like a fool anymore than I already had. There were none to be seen and at this point but I could tell old “bluey” needed some help. I scraped “bluey” along until I finally found some large pillars wide enough to hide me a little bit.
“Bluey” suddenly screeched to a halt. With sweat dripping down my face I slowly inspected the key areas of “bluey’s” infrastructure. To my dismay, the front right wheel had completely broken and was obliterated. The last 500 feet must have melted what was left of “bluey”s” right front wheel. For a few seconds I thought I could lift the front end up and only use the back wheels. But if 4 wheels couldn’t handle the load, how could two? Oh well, I had to give it a shot. 3 inches later I gave up the idea. Ten minutes into what should have been an easy walk and I was already in a heap of trouble.
I had no choice; abandon ship with whatever I could carry. Hoping to God my stuff was hidden from the street well enough I grabbed my clothes bags and briskly walked to the apartment. I returned twenty minutes later. My stuff was still there – whew! Now I just made it back to my old apartment and grabbed “bluey”s” first cousin. “weaky”.
If the name is any indication, you should know what direction this story is headed. “Weaky” was similar to blue in some respects; the original purpose of both “bluey” and “weaky” was to hold clothes. “Weaky” was named “weaky” because it was decided prior to moving that “bluey” was a much better candidate for moving items. “Weaky” was the ideal Wal-Mart special clothes rack; made in china, cheap, and loaded with plastic parts. The only metal “weaky” had was a few bars holding all the plastic together. But I had no choice, it was all I had left.
Me and “weaky” went strolling down the street together and my hopes were once again high. Somehow by the time I reached my first abandoned friend, “bluey,” one of the metal pieces from “weaky” was missing. It wasn’t an integral part, just en extender to hold more clothes, it wouldn’t pose a problem for carrying my things. I ran behind the pillar to “bluey” and there stood a fairly large man in a uniform starring curiously at me belongings… I explained in Japanese that these were my things. I pointed to the wheel and said “broken”. I apologized for leaving my things there and said I would be leaving right away. He didn’t seem to mind, and told me in Japanese that it was no big deal. Still embarrassed at this point, I grabbed the boxes and bedding, and transferred them to “weaky”. Since I had taken the heavy stuff to the new apartment already I figured “weaky” could handle a few boxes and some bed materials… Well, I didn’t even make it to the next intersection before “weaky” completely dismantled. “Weaky”s” metal bars began rolling down the street and I knew I was finished. Soon enough I was at a total standstill. “Weaky,” or what was left of him, wouldn’t budge. I was stuck in some back street not even a quarter of the way to the new apartment.
Down and out, I sat there thinking “Did I actually think I could make it there with “bluey,” let alone “weaky”! A new option revealed itself – a Taxi. I sure didn’t want to pay money to move, but at this point I was desperate. Just as the idea came to me, a drop of rain lightly patted my cheek followed by a few more. It had now begun to rain. However, a miracle then occurred! A taxi pulled up across the street and stopped. He was working on some sort of papers or whatnot. I quickly got up and ran across the street, nearly being swiped by the oncoming traffic. I still haven’t gotten used to the cars being on the opposite sides of the streets. I thought I had the driver’s attention, but he began to pull away. I ran harder and barely was able to tap on his window…
I stuffed the trunk and few minutes later we were on our way. I left “bluey” and “weaky” behind, alone in a back alley; but, at least they had each other. I made small talk in Japanese with the driver. I guess it was going to get busy for him pretty soon but it wasn’t too bad yet. I instructed him where to drive in Japanese. Left, straight, right… As he pulled in right we almost got hit by oncoming traffic. It was probably my fault as I instructed him to turn down a one-way road. I know this because his English was good enough to shout “One way - One way!” I didn’t know. I shouted “Goodluck” and he entered oncoming traffic. I’d only walked to the new apartment before and didn’t even realize it was a one way road. No worries though, I told him to continue for a little and we’d definitely be at a two way road. Another left and right and we were there. Finally.
After I got all my stuff inside, the rain finally quit. Good timing… But I made it! I hit the switch to the light as I entered the kitchen, but the light didn’t turn on. I tried again - click ,click, click… nothing. So I walked back to my old apartment to stay the night… It turns out the breaker switch just needed to be turned ON; but, Toshiko failed to tell me this while I was signing the papers…
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